Making it work
All the years I did not see the connection, but now it is obvious: a daily meditation routine is essential for me. If you want to control your thoughts, you need to be there! Fully aware.
Awareness is the key and is essential to use the stragegies in a specific amount to elicit A-mode.
It is very easy. You add positive thoughts every time you detect a negative thought. I called that the “Carrots vs. Donuts- Strategy” It is highly trainable and very easy if used frequently. There were years in my life, I did that easily, almost without effort. I guess, if you are not facing life events, you get into that upward-spiral much easier, than if you have many interuptions in your life, that are severe and essential for your self-worth.
So what makes the mind wander and not stick to the strategy? What happend when I felt uncapable to use it stubbornly and consequently? Why did I not go through with it all the time.
Awareness gets sucked up by anger and fear
If you are in a stage where you are angry about something or fearing something thoughts go south. Especially if you are in extreme fear you can not focus anymore. It is like a fast current that takes you somewhere you don´ t want to be. Even if you are a skilled meditation practitioner it might be very hard to get out of that stream of thought.
Now I figured out, that if I mediate every day again, the waters of thoughts get quiet and very clear structured. I might only talk for myself, but it seems that mediation only three times a week is not enough to get into A-mode.
Get into A- Mode and then…
Once you are in A-mode, there´ s no need to put in effort in any way anymore. Appreciation-mode is a constant state of gratefulness and appreciation and therefore feels like a constant mindfulness mediation of loving kindness.