Getting back in

As I told you: there´s that tipping point, where you get more and more positive and it´s all about the trevor-index. However, the last month I have been out of that mode. Sometimes for hours, sometimes for up to two days I´d say. I broke up with my husband, and some things have been frightening and some have been very negative, so I wasn´t able to stay entirely positive. Now I appreciate the situation. Because, it would be not such a great deal to stay positive if only good things happened to you. I can only get a real master if I get off track, because then I find ways to get back in. The problem about problems is, they are very captivating. Somebody might call you and plant a very negative information right into your mind and you can´t prevent thinking about it. On that point it depends on how your Positive-Negative Ratio has been that day and days before I´d say. Because at the beginning I could switch from getting insulted to another topic and thus regain good mood very fast. But the occurence of negative events was not controllable at all and happened many, many times. There were certain days where it felt like my ease just slipped through my fingers. But I was very aware and got back into positive mode again. Then there was fear, and fear is really the least controllable component, because it makes you circle around a topic in mind which is not good for you. My stability wasn´t there anymore, but my positive expectancy was.

I was thinking: “It is alright. I am going through a big change and I don´t need to be stable all the time. I will learn many, many things about myself”. Sometimes you are brooding about things and you can´t stop straight away.  Looking at a problem is like looking at a fractal video (check the nice fractal video below). It´s always the same, but you get deeper and deeper and you can´t focus on anything else. It gets just more and more and more, the deeper you get into it. It is important to find strategies to distract yourself and guide your focus on something else.

I made a plan for myself that I switch out of ruminating at certain times per day. It is very important to end negative processing. And in many cases it is not only possible but it is also a skill you can enlarge and train.

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