I´ve had a really bad time. It was uncontrollable and probable unavoidable. Now I am at a stage, where I really want to feel better and I know it is all about focus.
You can´t start feeling better, when you are looking at the downside
This is very important to know: if you are spending your time focusing on the negative, it will impact your mood and the next following thoughts. I know you are right that it is horrible. I know you want to fugure out what actually happend. But this is getting you to a place where you can´t find the solutions. You´ve got to stop it!
But is it possible to stop a negaitve thought?
Many times it is not. Some weeks ago I had to make the experience how it feels, when fear and thoughts that accompany feelings of fear entirely uncontrollable. I couldn´t believe it. Before that I thought of myself as an expert of meditation- but suddenly nothing was working anymore. I lost grip of everything I knew before.
It is about the ratio postive to negative thoughts.
As I explained before, you gotta get control via influencing the ratio positve to negative thoughts, the Trevor Index
Now I am recovering very fast – it is so thrilling- and this is why:
I refrain from thinking about the past situation. I switch to other topics and do anything to get back into feelings like “everything is fine”, “nothing needs to be changed” and “there´s nothing you have to solve right now”.