Making it work

Getting back into a-mode

The last weeks I have been slightly irritated by the fact, that I have been in a-mode for very, very long time spans in the last years, but now- during the last month after seperating from my husband- it was much less. I thought I was a pro. I thought nothing could disturb me for more than some hours. Even in October where I injured my knee and was hardly able to walk I felt good and got into positive thinking very easy. I spent quite a bit of time analysing what is going on. I figured out that there is actually some worrying going on in the background. It was all about money and wondering if I can pay bills. There was a lot of thinking on how I would say things to my ex, how I could make myself clear and on how I could solve the situation. That thinking seemed quite neutral to me: though there was a bit of worrying about money, I still had the expectation of my money getting more and the feeling that there are solutions. But it was a bit exhausting, always playing situations through. Then yesterday, when I was running, a sudden realization struck me: It was not about the thinking iteself, it was all about beliefs in the background. Because of some arguments with my ex-partner I held the belief, that it might be hard with him. That he will be stubborn and refuse to compromise. The next idea that came to me was, that I might hold the belief that I have to fight to get what I deserve. These two beliefs are the core of my rumination! I instantly started to weaken these beliefs. That is what my strategies are about: weakening and changing beliefs. (Check the how-it-works section for instructions.) The first notion that came to my mind was: it will always be enough. I don´t need to worry. There is a lot of prosperity in my life and it has been increasing ever since. I don´t need to worry about money. I have everything I need and have always been able to pay bills. And also the other beliefs wasn´t too hard to alter: my husband has been a decent person all the time. He might not argue anymore. He wants his kids to be happy- he might not make any trouble and he might soon be able to communicate properly. With the altered beliefs my whole mindset changed very fast. It changed in just one factor: I stopped thinking about it. It just ended. I caught myself in thinking about food and what to cook in the evening. Seems to me like all of our rumination  has beliefs in the background that want to be changed!! DO IT!!